“I just need some ‘me time’… I need to focus on me for a while and make sure my needs are being met… I need to spend some time finding myself.”
This type of language is very common in our society. The “self-help” section of bookstores always has a best seller or two. Even the music we listen to encourages us to focus on ourselves. Toby Keith tells us, “I wanna talk about me… what I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see.” Sara Bareilles sings, “All my life I've tried to make everybody happy while I just hurt and hide, waitin' for someone to tell me it's my turn to decide.” And Bon Jovi proudly shouts for all to hear, “It’s my life.”
As Christians, we cannot allow ourselves to start thinking this way. Our concern should be finding God, not finding ourselves. If we want to follow Christ, we are called to “deny self” take up our cross and follow Him (Matt 16:24). That is where our focus should be.
Certainly, at times there is a need to get away from the hectic world around us and spend one-on-one time with the Lord. Relaxation and vacation can be valuable to reenergize ourselves for service. But we can never take a break from denying self in order to serve self for a little while instead.
Jesus took time with His disciples to rest from their work (Mark 6:30-32). Yet, Jesus did not use this time as an excuse to stop serving others (Mark 6:33-34). God designed the Sabbath day for man to recuperate from a long week of hard labor. Yet, this was a day especially focused on worship and devotion to God.
We can never truly take a break from serving God and serving others. Denying self and taking up our cross is something that we must practice on a daily basis (Luke 9:23). There is no point in this life at which we can say we have carried the cross far enough and deserve to lay it down for a while.
This type of life may not seem very appealing to many. We may feel like we deserve some “me time” every once and a while. But Jesus reminds us, “Whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it” (Luke 9:24). The more we try to grasp for the life this world has to offer, the more certain it is we will miss out on the eternal life that God has to offer.
We cannot be enticed by the fleeting fulfillment the world advertises. God is the only one that can truly fill us up. And we have to come to Him empty before there is any room for what He has to offer.
Just like Jesus, we must empty ourselves in service (Php 2:5-7). We must become so absorbed in seeking and saving the lost, lifting up the fallen, comforting the broken hearted, and exhorting the weak, that there is no room for self any more. Our thoughts can no longer center around what I think, what I feel, or what I need. Self must be a distant memory superseded by a 100% devotion to the will of the Lord.
If we continue to reserve a small section of our hearts for ourselves, we will only end up miserable. The weight of service will be too much for us to bear. We will be tempted to reserve more and more space in our lives for self. But this won’t fix the problem; it will never fill us up.
However, if we come to the Lord completely empty, He promises to fill us up with all the fullness of God (Eph 3:19). Being filled with Christ we can say along with the apostle Paul, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me” (Gal 2:20). We can say along with king David, “in Your presence is fullness of joy” (Ps 16:11) and “my cup overflows” (Ps 23:5).
Do we truly trust that God has the power to fill us up? Then let us show that faith by losing ourselves in service and coming to Him completely empty.
“But we never can prove the delights of His love until all on the altar we lay; For the favor He shows, and the joy He bestows are for them who will trust and obey” (John H. Sammis, 1887).
-Grady Huggins